So, after last month’s attack on men, I’d be remiss if I didn’t extend my beliefs in equality and go after women this time around! Like last time, not ALL women, just you hating harpies. Specifically the type who try to verbally shit all over gogo-dancers and their craft for no real reason I can come up with other than to satisfy your own insecurities.
Basically, it’s broken down into several things I’ve heard time and time again:
“They’re pretty much strippers!”
Yeah, except pretty much NOT. Gogo-dancers aren’t typically dancing to pay for college. OK, so neither are strippers, if we’re being honest, but I can’t write these rants without some dash of snark here and there.
Bottom line, no gogo is getting naked while dancing. While they may be scantily clad, that’s where it ends. If that’s your issue then try putting them up there in track suits or sweat pants and see what kind of attention that grabs. Because that’s the point—attention. They’re simply sexy women dancing on stage that add to the ambiance of a dance event.
Still want to compare them to strippers? Go ahead and try to touch one of them or ask for a lap dance then. We’ll see if she doesn’t kick your ass before security gets their hands on you.
“No one wants to see that!”
Really? That’s funny because if you ask, oh I dunno, anyone else, they would disagree. Guys? I don’t even need to explain that one, and most women are also either indifferent or enjoy the show as well.
The end-all for this statement really boils down to the venue/promoters. If no one wants to see that, then why are they there? Gogo-dancers get paid and pretty well, typically. Hell, in a lot of cases venues barely, if at all, pay the fucking DJs and they’re the ones making everyone dance in the first place. (We’ll come back to THAT particular subject in a future edition of Redlining, by the way.)
The point is, it’s you that doesn’t want to see that. Everyone else does or doesn’t care so you should probably get over it. If you’re wasting time at an event standing there bitching, let me give you some advice: No one wants to hear that.
“They’re sluts/whores/etc…”
This one is just the plain textbook definition of haterism at its finest. In fact, Urban Dictionary defines haterism as:
“Displaying hate for the next individual’s success as a result of one’s own shortcomings.”
Stop yer grinnin’ and drop your linen! We got us a winner! Just because gogo-dancers get a lot of attention from guys, doesn’t make it reciprocal. In fact, most of the dancers I know are happily taken. The Department of Dance’s very own Kendall Aranel has been with her boyfriend, Chris, for over two years and he fully supports her. I mean, why not? What else says, “My girl is sexy AF!” like grabbing the attention of every guy in the room just by dancing? When she’s on stage, she does just that. But the moment she steps off, it’s all monogamy and lollipops!
They’re not up there to steal your man. If that’s a relationship concern for you, you may want to look inward or double-check the men you choose to date. And that’s assuming there are any left. With shrews like you around it’s no wonder they probably wandered away to watch the gogos on stage.
Aside from a writer, Joe Ullo is also a DJ, comedian, food-porn specialist, and all-around audiophile.
