Welcome to the first installment of Redlining with Joe Ullo! It’s a monthly rant of satire, saltiness, and shame on the little annoyances and trivialities in the dance music world. This month is a shout out to you hipsters who think you’re cool because you refer to DJs by their real name.
Obviously, this is OK to do with people like Mark Sherry, Markus Schulz, or John Digweed because, well, that’s their name. But I can’t be the only one who gets annoyed, maybe even cringes, when people are discussing Deadmau5 and some pretentious half-wit says, “See, the thing about Joel is…” Joel? Joel who? You don’t know Joel. You’ve been to see Deadmau5.
That’s IT.
You know when he’s Joel? When someone says something like, “Hey Joel, please pass the potatoes” at Thanksgiving. Because they actually know the guy. No one is impressed with your ability to summon Wikipedia. It’s no secret to my friends that I love Pink Floyd. But not once have I ever said, “Hey! Does anyone want to listen to Roger, David, Nick, and Richard!?” in an effort to make myself look uber-cool. People like this make me cringe in the same way that I did whenever some idiot who thinks they’re cute would refer to Barack Obama as Barry. Very edgy, bro.
Deadmau5 is a persona. A DJ persona. You know about him because he’s Deadmau5, not because he’s Joel Zimmerman. Some might even say, “Well, on Coffee Run they call each other by their real names!” Please refer back to earlier when I said people who actually know him.
In fact, if my best friend Mitch called me Proto-J (my DJ name) in a serious manner while hanging out, I’d probably slap him. You don’t honestly think DJs call each other by their aliases when they hang out, do you? The point is, quit with the nonsense. Unless you need to buy a Christmas present for your cousin Joel, or your brother Lorin, just continue enjoying yourself at events while you watch the likes of Deadmau5 and Bassnectar because that’s who they are to all of us. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rock out to some Queen because Farrokh Bulsara is, in my opinion, one of the greatest front men of all time.
Aside from a writer, Joe Ullo is also a DJ, comedian, food-porn specialist, and all-around audiophile.
